Jump to content
Flying Purple Hippos Forums
Shuskee

2018 Asian Games Football Thread

Recommended Posts

"Haha there goes shusky again with a parody thread for a useless event," you think to yourself

 

BUT YOU ARE WRONG

 

The 2018 Asian Games tournament is INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT for the following convoluted reason:

 

- all men in south korea have to do compulsory 2 year military service

 

- like all

 

- seriously everyone has to do that even ridiculous k-pop superstars

 

- if you don't do it, president korea issues a fatwa against you and any korean in the world has a right to kill you on sight and they dig up your ancestors and they skullfuck them

 

- there's basically only one way to avoid this shit, and it is to win a gold medal at the olympic games or at the asian games

 

- this is son heung min:

 

20434.png

 

- everyone loves son heung min

 

Son-Heung-Min.jpg

 

- son heung min is adorable and cool

 

238979.jpg

 

- son heung min is a spurs hero and has the best secret handshakes in the world

 

FoolhardyCrispAuk-size_restricted.gif

 

- the best handshakes

 

tumblr_oe20jtVGKc1u9ikt0o2_500.gif

 

- the very best

 

tumblr_odaqfyc24l1r8e765o5_500.gif

 

- son heung min hasn't yet done his military service yet and he is not exempt because when he previously played at leverkusen the cunts haven't let him go to that one tournament where korea won a gold medal whatever the fuck that was

 

- this is literally son's last chance to avoid the compulsory two year service

 

- if korea don't win this he'll have to leave spurs for two years essentially ending his career

 

- it is absolutely imperative that korea win this stupid tournament

 

- otherwise I will cry

 

- so far they have lost to malaysia

 

- but it's okay they qualified for the knockout stage

 

- they face Iran on the 23rd

 

- :ohdear:

 

- :ohdear: :ohdear: :ohdear:

 

- if they win they only have to beat a lot of absolute dross garbage in order to reach the final, where they will probably face something like japan or superior korea

 

- omg korea plz

 

- join me in praying for korea and sonny

Edited by Shuskee
  • I'm with stupid 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

- if you don't do it, president korea issues a fatwa against you and any korean in the world has a right to kill you on sight and they dig up your ancestors and they skullfuck them

 

 

this is true

 

let me tell you a story my friends

 

a long time ago, one kpop man dared defy this law

 

asdf.jpg

 

but for some reason it was hard to persuade people he wasn't fit for military service

 

so president korea said fatwa you, you are NEVER coming back to this country

 

16 years later he remains forever barred from the sweet sweet taste of red paste

 

 

 

then later another kpop dude who wasn't so buff said he has no teeth so he can't go army

 

2.png

 

so the evening news put on a dentist who analysed his images on TV (in the background) and delivered an EXPERT'S ESTIMATE of how much teeth he has

 

and he was banned by all the TV channels for like 5 years

 

in conclusion, poor son, poor, poor son

Edited by Veggie
  • I'm with stupid 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

SONNY, LIKE A MODERN-DAY THEMISTOCLES, HAS ROUTED THE PERSIANS! KOREA WILL PLAY MIGHTY UZBEKISTAN IN THE QUARTER FINAL ON THE 27TH!!!

  • I'm with stupid 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ummmm ok so I just checked and uzbekistan actually won the u-23 asian championship just this january and they've beaten korea 4-1 on the way

 

 

:ohdear:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't believe I was up to watch that and no shuskee

 

a better drubbing to Vietnam than the U.S. ever managed

  • I'm with stupid 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

×
×
  • Create New...