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Thread concerning John's obligations

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The question is why you wasted over 2 hours finding out how bad Pacific Rim was. I read the synopsis which took me 20 seconds:

 

 

 

When monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity's resources for years on end. To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju. On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes - a washed up former pilot (Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (Rinko Kikuchi) - who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind's last hope against the mounting apocalypse.

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Yeah, but it was an enjoyably bad movie so long as you can turn off the impulse to think "BUT THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING. WTF, WHY?" every 5 seconds.

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kinda wish we were still arguing about this dumbass movie because the forums were so active

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I've never been this excited about something John has to say.

 

I've never been excited about something John has to say.

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We're patiently waiting

Summoned him via gmail

 

Liars.

 

Soon is a relative term btw. I have things to do that are at least as legitimate as things Joost does on any given day when he whinges out of obligations.

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SOGGY'S DETAILED POST OF EXPLAINING WHY THIS IS SIMPLY A MEDIOCRE FILM AND WHICH CONTAINS SPOILERS

  1. Tom Cruise starts off as a 1-dimensional character and his development proceeds along a single axis. The audience is simply instructed to dislike this character because it lacks quality X, but there's no opportunity to form an opinion on what that character is because at the beginning he is nothing more than a caricature.
  2. Action is... meh. A bunch of aliens that die after X damage is dealt to them, being so thoroughly CGI there really isn't any tension in the combat. Either you punch them or they instagib you from a direction you didn't expect. Tom Cruise fighting the training robots was literally more interesting to watch.
  3. This doesn't really have any sci-fi component. Don't call it a good sci-fi movie. The role of scientist is filled by an individual with a doctorate in particle physics and "advanced microbiology". If you have a doctorate in microbiology it had better be advanced. Dr. Carver plays with holograms. This information could have been conveyed using a napkin, which would have required less suspension of disbelief.
  4. Shusky is right, him losing his respawn ability was basically the point at which this movie deflated. Because it just became "invade the enemy base you have one shot to do this" which isn't any different from other action films. At least before this point we didn't know how they were getting there.
  5. The thing that was great about Bill Murray learning about other characters was that it was an opportunity to show him developing his compassion towards them. Tom Cruise uses it to manipulate them and continue acting like an asshole. The trip to the helicopter shack and coffee episode weren't bad, but why doesn't it show the points where he actually learns more about what's her face? Oh right it's an action movie.
  6. We already agree that the ending is crap.
  7. Jokes and gags are pretty bad. Score is thoroughly forgettable. This is because it's an action film made for a tasteless audience.
  8. The universe doesn't make sense. I guess it's for the sake of gags and simplicity. What is the UDF and was it really necessary to rebrand while Central Europe was being overrun? What are their military objectives? Why do they land on a giant endless beach and why does the military equipment have so many language settings?
  9. Tom's backstory: "I was in RotC in college, war broke out, I lost my advertising firm." Also he's a Major.
  10. I don't see how he does change, except becoming better at fighting and possibly falling in love with hottie. The latter just seems to impair his judgment, because he just tells her (twice) to hide somewhere safe so he can go through with the mission alone. Seeing that he's thrust into combat before he has enough knowledge to manipulate events, what choice is actually being given to him? Is it really reasonable to conclude that he wouldn't agree to going on the mission if he knew he could actually end the war (as opposed to simply going into combat as cannon fodder, which is what he's first asked to do)? I still can't decide if he had the free will to do anything differently.
  • I'm with stupid 2

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re: world making sense, can we now have a discussion about the alien invasion

 

map.jpg

 

ALIEN INVASION PLAN:

 

1. Take the EU but remember to leave out PIGS, we wouldn't want to conquer all that debt. Ok Italian north is rich so take that too

2. Be super careful to avoid anything Putin can fabricate claims against. Western Ukraine is fine since it's Russia hatin' but the Baltics and Belarus and Moldova are no go guys

3. Fuck the Netherlands. Also, fuck Denmark.

 

EARTH DEFENCE PLAN:

 

1. Defend Gdańsk at all costs. Fuck the Netherlands. Also, fuck Denmark.

2. Let's do D-Day even though we can just walk in from Belgium no problem

3. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm defend Ukraine w/ China iunno

 

 

CAN NOTED ADVANCED MICROBIOLOGIST DR CUTOFFJAIMELANNISTERSHAND EXPLAIN WHY ARE ALIENS SO ATTRACTED TO SCHENGEN AREA. DO THEY REALLY HATE TO HAVE THEIR PASSPORTS LOOKED AT

  • I'm with stupid 3

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The prequel is going to be from an alpha's pov and show day 1 of the invasion which was repeated 6194984298 times because the alphas sent to conquer australia kept walking into cassowaries and spiders

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"Xhllloo, listen, we've been here 60 times and you always die starting this helicopter. There's a dropbear on the rotor. We tried everything I swear."

  • I'm with stupid 3

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