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Shuskee

Game of Thrones - bad tv for bad tv watchers

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someone give me a multiple choice I don't know who is alive having not watched the show since 2014

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The annoying thing about this show is that everything else is still great about it. Direction, cinematography, music, acting, special effects, all fantastic. They keep giving Emilia Clarke ridiculous nonsense to do and she almost manages to make it sense through sheer force of expressive eyebrows. But the writing is so bad and lazy. Even the high level storyline is still okay, but they just speed from one plot point to the next without laying any foundation. Like if they had spent a full season on the “Dany turns evil” arc, it could have been good. Instead it happens in like 15 minutes. Or spend an entire season tracking what’s happening at Kings Landing so we actually know what’s going on. Cersei basically did the Medeival equivalent of 9/11 if the Pope had also been in the Twin Towers that day. Does anyone care?? Do they know she did it? Do the common people like her? How are she and a maester and a giant zombie singlehandedly running the entire country??? This stuff used to matter but now we’re too busy spending 30 minutes watching nameless extras burn to death to emphasize the “war is bad” theme I guess????

It’s all just so awful.

Edited by Lief
  • Dugong 3

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Bran waking up as a child in an "It was all a dream!" twist would be the best move at this point, honestly.

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My prediction is Arya kills Dany for being an evil crazy bitch, then everyone's like "Jon you should be king" and he's like "no there will be no king, I'm going home" and Drogon melts the iron throne into a puddle, show over.

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Yeah this is a solid bet except with Jon killing Dany and then fucking off north  all sad like

Because Arya has already fucked off on A Horse Named Symbolism and will start an organic fair trade bakery with Hot Pie

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Hopefully the Iron Bank invades to collect its debts, executes all the claimants to the throne, changes Westeros' government type to "merchant republic," and then Westeros can finally have an industrial revolution after being stuck in the middle ages for like 10,000 years for some reason.

Edited by Lief
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they literally made him run away and become the Westerosi equivalent of a lumberjack :psyduck:

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On 5/6/2019 at 1:58 AM, Lief said:

jon leaving winterfell forever without petting his dog proves that the writers are sociopaths 

it is with a very heart that I must admit that the writers owned me

ghost_short.gif

Edited by Lief

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On 5/13/2019 at 11:38 PM, Shuskee said:

okay fph let's guess who's going to end up on the throne in the end

my bet is on bran just because it would make literally the least sense of all possible options

:suicide:

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I WAS NOT PREPARED

I THOUGHT NOTHING WOULD SURPRISE ME AFTER FOUR SEASONS OF SENSATIONALLY STUPID SHIT BUT TURNS OUT I WAS ABSOLUTELY DEFENCELESS AGAINST THE MOUNTAIN OF BADNESS THAT HAS CRUSHED MY SOUL JUST NOW

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hey if it upset sansa so much that jon has to go to the wall but bran had to do this to keep peace with the greyworms then why did they even keep up that bargain if the greyworms are just fucking off to fucking cape verde? oh no yara and her three remaining ulfsarks will be mad

also are you aware that the wall is now in sansa's and not bran's jurisdiction so she can do fucking whatever

also why is there even a night watch anymore all the dead are dead and all the wildlings are bros

please note that I'm pointing these things out just so that I don't have to think about tyrion's catastrophic WHAT'S THE MOST POWERFUL THING IN THE WORLD???????? STORIES speech which was so stunningly and exquisitely bad that I actually looked away from the screen because I was feeling so bad for peter dinklage for having to deliver it

like I am now sure that d&d made it bad on purpose because they are both grown-ass adults who have lived to however old they are without accidentally killing themselves by jamming crayons into their ears, and if they have the mental capacity to achieve that then surely they are way too smart to have sincerely come up with this trainwreck

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I don't think there's a Night's Watch anymore (since Jon immediately left when he arrived at the Wall), it was just a euphemistic compromise way of exiling Jon.

I like the ending in a sense because it's a very cynical one: after hundreds of thousands of people dying, and years and years of war, the Starks and Lannisters are still running the country, the kingdom is ruled by a bunch of incompetents (Tyrion has proven himself to be an idiot, Davos can barely read, the master of coin is literally a criminal mercenary, Sam hasn't even finished his maester training???), so in that sense the wheel keeps on turning. The only two people who could have changed things are dead and exiled, and Jon was basically used by Tyrion to save his life and put him back in power (and for his troubles Jon is emotionally scarred and exiled to Siberia and never gets to see his family again). I also like that all the various prophecies turned out to be nonsense, which seems to have annoyed people.

(Also you can argue that whatever the hell kind of immortal demigod the Three-Eyed Raven is (because remember Bran isn't Bran anymore, he's been taken over by this thing), It has engineered a coup and now rules the continent (and is actively searching for the remaining dragon presumably so It can warg into the dragon and control it). Like this unaccountable, omniscient being has been running the show the entire time and now he controls everything. Seems bad??? Maybe the Night King, who was trying to kill him, was the good guy all along?? In fact the only things we know about the Night King come from Bran? WHAT IF HE WAS LYING???).  

BUT, I don't think D&D realized this and it seems like they think they wrote a happy ending??? So who knows.

Edited by Lief

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the behind the scenes documentaries for each episode are so good, like the LOTR DVD extras from the olden days

 

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6 hours ago, Lief said:

BUT, I don't think D&D realized this and it seems like they think they wrote a happy ending??? So who knows.

yeah the thing about this show is that for the last four seasons literally nothing mattered but the most literal, plainly spelled-out developments 

so I'm kinda sure that all thought that went into bloodraven was "we're gonna sit max von sydow in a cave how ominous" and he was forgotten the second he disappeared from the screen, kinda like quaithe and meera 

 

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